Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Seasons
Down the hill from my home, past the little grocery store and the only gas station is a road I have traveled almost every day to town. On this road I mark the seasons and the years as they pass by. Right now it is winter. The irrigation canal that I cross over sits empty, waiting to transport water for spring and summer crops. As I drive along, leafless trees twist and curl and stretch in front of a deep orange sunrise. I never realized how beautiful trees are even without their green or golden leaves. Whispy white clouds paint the sky. Passing by the river there is a beach made of ice and snow, with ducks sitting cured up, their heads tucked in tight against the cold. The local nursery, which is closed for the entire month of January is now open which is my first sign of spring. As the seasons pass their reader board sign up by the road changes. Right now they are featuring valentine's bouquets and winter pansies. As a sign of the early spring they advertise purple and white lilac bushes and roses. On to summer they try to tempt those driving by to stop and buy color spots, hanging flower baskets and American flags for the 4th of July. As school begins in the fall they sell yellow mums, hay bales and big round pumpkins. It is a beautiful country road that helps me to stop, during my day to day life, to appreciate the changing seasons.
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I really liked how you described your drive during the winter. It reminded me of back home and I had a good metal picture of what you were talking about! I wondered why you decided to focus on the nursery sign toward the end of your writing. I know you are connecting the seasons, but it seemed a bit disconnected to me. Maybe you could expand your writing to describe your drive through the different seasons. I liked your descriptive writing piece!
ReplyDeleteThanks Allison. I do think I had 2 things going on at once. On one hand the changing seasons, but I always look at that sign as it represents time passing for me. I think maybe this would have worked better either expanded upon or broken up into 2 different entries.
ReplyDeleteAs I read you writing, I was also picturing the serene winter scene in my mind! I particularly like your inclusion of colors in your writing, even though you just stated "Valentine" or "American Flag." They provide lovely images during my reading. I think Allison brought up a good point, but I also think that you can keep the connection between seasons and signs/nursery and describe different scenes or stories behind the changing seasons and signs.
ReplyDeleteYour descriptive writing really sets the mood and made me, as the reader, feel like I was in the place you are describing!!! It actually made me feel that feeling you get when fall is setting in and school is about to start. Great descriptions!! Thank you! I like that you don't say where it is, but at the same time I am curious and wonder where it is you are writing about?! :) I also wonder how long you've been travelling this road!
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing at descriptive writing! Wow! My compliment is definitely how easy it was for me to picture myself on that road and seeing what you are seeing. What I'm wondering about is your beginning. Have you tried writing different hooks? I'm wondering if a more simple statement might draw the reader in more. Can't wait to read more of your writing!
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